Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Listen Lady....

With Thanksgiving just a few days away, and my family on there way to visit right now, and the thought of 13 people at one dinner, I've got a lot to do.

Yesterday I was running around getting things done.
I stopped at a store to buy some fruit for Lee, and used my credit card to purchase it.

On the back of my credit card, instead of signing, I wrote, "Check ID".
Normally, no one even looks at this, which makes me really excited for the inevitable time my credit card gets stolen or lost. I'm sure the person who takes it will have no problem stocking up on Twinkies, tube socks, cheap beer, a slinky and plenty of naked lady lighters, or ...whatever it is that credit card thieves buy when they steal credit cards.

But oddly, yesterday, the cashier looked at the back of my card, and asked to see my ID.
Whenever I get carded, I gladly hand it on over with a stupid smile.

"This isn't you." She growled, and as a side note, this lady was old. Very old, she looked like she could have died three days ago.

"Um.....what?" I asked. Was she kidding? Granted, I know I look like an escaped felon in my liscense picture, but I just took the picture in June when I moved here.

"This picture...doesn't look anything like you."
"Um....yes it does."
"Does not"
"Uh-huh!"

The lady behind me chimed in, "Look, she just had a baby, I'm sure she looks different."
I glanced at Isaac. He had almost his whole fist in his mouth and a pretty obvious booger hanging out of one nostril.
Thanks for the help son.

Besides, I don't know what her reasoning behind that was, it's not like my face was pregnant.


"Ok, I don't have any other form of photo identification, are you going to sell it to me or not?"
If I were using someone elses card and ID ....I definitely wouldn't be using it to buy 7 dollars worth of fruit.

I'd use it to buy lots of naked lady lighters.

"Ok" She scanned my card through," but next time bring in your real ID"

"Ok, I'll bring my real ID, and you bring your real teeth."

I can't wait to go back tommorrow.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Yes Ma'am

Lee and I went to get our haircuts this weekend.

Ugh, as usual, I don't want to talk about the outcome, however, I made a huge discovery.

"I think Lisa should be my friend." I told Lee when we got home.
(Lisa being our hairdresser)

"She can be your friend. " Lee answered back, but was looking at me like I had four boobs.

*sigh* " I want her to be my friend because she says stuff like, 'Oh you are so funny' and then stops cutting hair, holds her chest and finishes laughing." I tried to explain. "I want her to be my friend, follow me around and tell me how funny I am. Everyone wants a friend who tells them how funny she is, or how pretty she is, or, 'Oh Kathleen, you look so skinny today, you should eat more chocolate today."

"You don't want a friend, you want a "yes man"

"Fine, when I get famous, I want a yes man to follow me around, or a yes woman, I'm not sexist, someone to wash my hair every morning like they do in the salon, and a wipes warmer in every bathroom." ( we have a wipe warmer for Isaac, and I....am a little jealous to be frank)

"uh huh" Lee answered back. I knew he was now wondering about those four boobs I mentioned earlier.

Four boobs and a wipe warmer.

Yes Ma'am

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Here I go again on my own

one post to test