Friday, December 09, 2005

For the love of prada....

Oh I can't take much more....

I'm having such a crappy week.
Besides the wallet drama, AOL closed my account, without letting me know, and this morning...

some lady hit my car.

I need this, I really do. Anything else?

I had just parked, grabbed my purse and was about to get out of my car when I felt, BUMP.
I looked in my rear view and saw either an elephant, or a Lincoln Continental, and seriously...Who needs a car this big? Why don't you just drive a yacht.

Do you hear that? That's anger in my voice. Mommy needs a drink.

I made sure Isaac was still sleeping and got out of the car.
There, getting out of the driver seat, was a woman who can only be described as old.
Her glasses were about as thick as my thighs, and her hair looked like a purple birds nest.

"WHAT'S GOING ON BACK HERE?" she yelled like I was the one who was 95.
"You just hit my car crazy." I said in a flat voice.
"Well I don't have time for this, what where you doing back there?"
"Parked, I was parked, this is a parking lot is it not?"
"Well, I don;t have time for this, I can't call the cops."
I looked at my bumper. Screw it.
"Yeah, fine." I agreed, it was just a scratch, I didn't have time either.
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT" she yelled.
"Yes, It was, and I DON'T CARE." I yelled back. I was at the point of patience where I just wanted to take her teeth out and throw them at her. " Can you please move your car? I have to get my stroller out."

I then realized that if I had been behind my car getting my stroller out, I might not have legs anymore. And it was too much. Between the stress of moving, my stolen wallet, AOL, and post partum hormones, I lost it. And I started crying in the parking lot.
"I didn't see you back there, you shouldn't drive such a small car." She said with the right amount of smug in her elephant driving voice.
"SHUT UP YOU BITCH. YOU JUST HIT MY CAR AND I HAVE AN INFANT IN THERE." I was screaming, but I was crying, so I sounded crazy. Like.....Jesse Spano crazy.

She looked me like I had just thrown her teeth at her, got in her car and I guess drove away.
This is going to be a good story for her to tell her friends. I just gave her like 10 minutes of entertainment at any holiday party, the crazy crying girl with the tiny car.

See Tom Cruise? I do need drugs.
You f'ing moron.