Sunday, December 04, 2005

Is that my ass or a butterball turkey?


I get it, it's time to work off the baby weight.
I did a very good job of losing every last pound, and quickly I may add.
However, I'm still squishy.
I still have bingo arms.


Yes, hear me out. When I was MUCH younger, like 7 or 9, I used to go to Bingo with my grandma on Saturday nights, (hate the bingo, love the grandma)Anyway, I was surrounded by elderly women who wore earrings made of crafts, and shirts decorated with puffy paint, women who would play fifteen bingo cards at a time, keep up with all of them and still have time to talk about the lottery, women who brought their own personalized bingo markers. Once a game, some innocent woman's dream would come true when she could raise her arms up in the arm, wave them wildly and yell , " BINGO!!! BINGO!!"
Now...See those skin flaps waving wildly underneath the arm? Those fleshy curtains are called bingo arms.

And I've made it my goal to lose them.

On Wednesday, I started doing yoga again. Not really again, since I've never done yoga before, but I think that's a really chic thing to say ( "I've recently begun doing yoga again")
On weekdays, at six in the morning there is a great yoga show called, "Inhale". There's snag number one in my "lose the baby squishy"plan. My sleep is precious. I'm not getting up earlier than I need to. Thanks to modern day inventions, my cable box records it for me.

Back to the plan. So... After Isaac woke up, and I did a few things around the house, I felt ready to dive right into yoga. How hard could it really be? I'm flexible, I've danced professionally for more than 19 years of my life, this should be easy.

Looking back on it, I started with a sucker in my mouth. That was probably mistake number one. Got it, no more suckers. So, I was totally into it, and during commercial breaks, I jump roped. ( I know, how serious am I?) After about 35 minutes of yoga/jump roping, I realized that the towel I was using as a yoga mat was sticking to me.

Gross, that's how sweaty I was. But it was fun. I can't find time to get to the gym, consistently, I needed this sweaty grossness. I need a steel toe boot to kick me in the bee-hind and get me into motion.

Lee, Isaac and I are making a trip to New Orleans for the first time since we moved in May.
So, I have to work my tiny tushie off to get back into shape.
This way, when I get off the plane, someone, anyone can say, "Wow, you look great"
and I can say, "What? This ? Please" and shimmy away.

The only problem is that my thighs, abs and arms are on fire since my yoga stunt. I'm going to take it a little easier tomorrow. I'm not the nimble little minx that I used to be.